I really have, over the past few weeks. And I’ve missed reading everyone else’s. I have been feeling a bit disconnected. But over the past few days, I ran again, in the morning, as was my usual routine, and felt more like myself. May not do so tomorrow morning, not sure yet, as I know tomorrow will be a very long day. After the usual work day, there is a reception for new foreign students that I need to go to. I just don’t plan on staying until the end. I’m trying to draw boundaries between my work and my home life. If you don’t, I find that work can swallow you whole if you let it. For some people, obsessing about work might be alright but for me, it’s not. I am now past that point in my career. It’s not like I am a clock watcher, but hey, I have a life. Or at least I try to sometimes.
I feel like I’ve been in a weird funk lately. I have not been in the mood to go back to work after my vacations. Usually I tend to feel somewhat motivated at that point, but not lately. Work has been weird. Lots of change going on, and don’t get me wrong, I think some change can be good. But if I hear the word “team” used again in an insincere manner, I think I’m going to hurl. Really. I wish people would just say things like they mean it, and get on with life. And I wish I could stop wondering if I’ve chosen the wrong field, or the wrong place, sometimes. Like I said, I’ve been in a funk lately.
However, there are a few bright spots, like the other folks that I am working with, regarding my new specialty, and the fact that one of my friends at work now also has an office space on my floor. I have to remind myself to think of those good things, and not get bogged down in all the other crap.
My run yesterday was not the fastest but it felt good. As I was about halfway on a 4 mile loop, I ran past Silver Lake, near my house. There were a few triathletes swimming in the lake, and it just gave me this needed jolt of energy. I also saw another runner. This is somewhat unusual – usually I only see people out walking their dogs, or walking, but not too many runners in the 6 a.m. hour, for some reason. I think a lot of people who live in my suburb tend to run in the evenings.
Yesterday morning was quite humid – about 95%, I think, but the temperature felt relatively cool, about 70 degrees. We are in the middle of a heat wave here, and today it reached 97. And it was humid, so I stayed inside and rode the exercise bike while reading a copy of Mother Earth News that I had checked out from my library. I didn’t even bother to take my headphones with me to the gym and I didn’t really miss them. Don’t worry, though, Alien, if I’m out there running tomorrow morning, I’ll be sure to wear them.
Wow, even this post feels like I am all over the place. I think I need to get back into more of a groove where running and blogging are concerned, and hopefully be able to successfully get through this freelance research crunch I am operating under. We are hoping to give the book chapters to some critiquers somewhat early in September, so that’s why there’s a rush. I’m a bit nervous those readers won’t feel like it’s been researched enough. I guess a little part of it will always feel like my work is not good enough.
Anyway, sorry to be such a downer this evening. I will leave you with a picture (taken from above) of the munchkin who has been laying behind my chair in my dining room/home office filled with the books of half my library at work (it feels like it anyway.) She just sighed, in boredom, I think. (As in “Mom, I need some attention, it’s been minutes since someone petted me!”) 🙂 Notice the Red Sox collar. It matches her very fashionable Red Sox leash that my husband insisted on getting for her. He said “just because she’s a girl doesn’t mean she has to wear pink.” But I like pink!
August 18, 2009 at 10:49 pm
As a lifelong Red Sox fan, I highly approve of the dog accessories.
August 21, 2009 at 3:38 pm
LOL, I figured you would! As Bill says “ruthie has to support the team too, you know.”
August 19, 2009 at 10:38 am
I think it is natural to go through funks. I’ve been through plenty! You have to ride them out — and hope that you either learn something from them (changes you want to make) or determine that the funk was just a passing phase.
Hope your funk doesn’t last too long!
August 21, 2009 at 3:38 pm
I started to come out of my funk this week, thanks Felice. I think running a lot this week was a bonus and got me back on a schedule. It’s hard for me to stay in a bad mood if I’ve been able to run. About the job funk, yes I hope it ends soon too.
August 19, 2009 at 1:20 pm
What Anne said. I too am a West Coast Red Sox fan! In fact, the only time I’ll see the Angels is when the Red Sox are playing!
August 21, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Glad to see that BOSOX fans are all over the place! I hear that Baltimore is almost like “Boston south.”
August 20, 2009 at 9:01 am
aren’t there pink red sox dog collars? 🙂
does anyone ever want to go back to work after vacation? i know i don’t… 😉 yes, i do get a *little* tired of having so much free time but i don’t quite want to go back to work. i’m sorry work is being difficult. do you think things will improve once the school year has officially started up again and things are back in the normal swing? i’m sure the cutbacks/economy don’t help – the employer feels it has the ‘top hand’ in a sense and sometimes abuses that. hopefully things start getting better soon?
know what you mean on trying to have a life. haha. i’m not doing too well so you’ll have to have one for the both of us 🙂
August 21, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Actually some of my colleagues have said that yes, they get antsy to go back. Not me!!
I think part of it is that we are now doing this 80/20 split thing, but it feels sometimes that it’s 120% of work being shoved into 100% of the hours, know what I mean? And yes, a lot of us are thinking “we’re glad to have a job but….”
August 21, 2009 at 9:40 am
It’s always great to get a jolt of motivation from other people! Sometimes a little mental break is all you need to get back into things also.
August 21, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Yep, and they were out there swimming today, 3 of them! I keep meaning to write a thank you to them on our listserv. I’m sure that water in the lake felt like bath water today. They were swimming slowly!
August 21, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Seriously…..step away from the computer and walk me already!
August 21, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Nice to see that you have some imagination, Bill!
August 23, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Glad to hear that you’re snapping out of your funk, Terri. We’ve all been there. But you’ve got the right attitude, to focus on the positive things. And I know what you mean when you talk about cramming 120% of work into 100% of the hours! I’ll be moving into that phase at work soon myself.
And thanks for the pictures of Ruthie. She photographs well!
Sarah
August 23, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Go Sox!!! 🙂
August 23, 2009 at 6:34 pm
When you’re writing about your feelings about work right now, it could be a post for me too… I’m feeling very much the same! It’s particularly hard to draw that work/life boundary when you telecommute!
I hope you get feeling like you’ve got your “groove” back soon. But I think you’re on the right track, taking time to focus on things that matter most and give you pleasure. Good job!
August 24, 2009 at 8:40 pm
I’m so sorry you’re in a funk. I’ve been in one lately too, and I guess these just happen every once in a while in life. I think it’s great that you are focusing on the positives and making time for things that are important to you. As I learned the hard way, if you let work control your life, you wind up feeling pretty darn empty and lost once you no longer have that part of your life; even if it is a job you ultimately want to get rid of! Hang in there 😉 My advice is to get lots of hugs and snuggle time from Ruthie 🙂 That always seems to help!
August 25, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Yep hanging out with ruthie has definitely helped. As a dog she is always happy. It gives u a good perspective on things. To think of how they view the world, u know?
And yes i am drawing boundaries at work. I refuse to let it drive me insane.
August 24, 2009 at 10:38 pm
isn’t it the most awesome feeling to have your furry girl lying near you! I just love it! Velcro is never far from my side!!
You’re not comatose….just busy!! I have been in a blog funk lately! Kinda down about the boy being at school and him not communicating with me at all. Yes, teary eyed about it right now-thank goodness for Velcro! It either makes me want to sit on the couch and do nothing or it gets me out of the house to swim and run so that I’m so exhausted I come home and sleep!! I thought I’d hear from him a tad more now that he’s at school in california. Now he doesn’t even answer text messages or anything….oh well-guess I wouldn’t want him to be homesick and calling everyday!!
I guess I need a vacation!~ I just can’t take one!@ I just need to leave LA-go camping! Drink wine, run on the beach and camp! I think i”ll do that on my birthday!!
I hope you are having a wonderful time with Ruthie! She looks so very happy!!
August 25, 2009 at 3:58 pm
It sounds like he is just being a normal teenager. I was the same way in college especially at the beginning. He’s just getting his bearings, is my guess. Once he settles into a routine u will probably hear from him a lot more. I know it doesn’t make u feel any better right now though. I’m sorry u are feeling so badly.
And u are right, it is awesome to always have Ruthie around.
August 26, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Dear Aunt Terri,
I like your doggie picture! When are you coming to visit? I am starting to forget what you look like!
Love,
Benjamin