I can see Chris’ face now – he has become the topic of a blog post! So this week, I was lucky enough to meet Chris, the Gibtown Runner himself, in person, while he was in town on business.  We went for a run last night along the Charles River, and now I think he’s understanding completely why I say that  Boston is such a runner’s town.  So many people outside running, day and night. 

But really, it was so nice to talk to him in person, and feel very comfortable doing so, like I’d known him for much longer than I otherwise would have after the first meeting in person.  We all know, there is so much stuff  you cannot say on a blog, for whatever reason, because once it’s out there on the Internet, it’s out there. You can never take it back. Chris, you now have a running partner whenever you are in Boston, if you want one!

 It could be that we’ve all been house and snow-bound for way too long, or maybe it’s because this city is going through a re-birth, as Anne put it when commenting on D.C. during the Cherry Blossom festival period of the year.  Literally, the tres have been developing buds and leaves over the last 4 days. The hostas planted around the outside perimeter of our front lawn have been growing by inches over the past few days, and I mean, literally, inches.   And our little tree that flowers for just 3-4 days per year, already bloomed earlier this week. (And yes, I did take a picture, I will post it later on today when I download it from my camea.)  Hey, Kara, maybe I’ll make that my Twitter icon image! (I need help, people, most of my images are too  large for  Twitter, over 700k, and I’m not sure how to make them smaller.  I know, get googling.)

Ok, so back to the topic of this post.  Chris asked me last night where I see myself in five years. I think I now know the answer. In the same spirit as Lisa wrote on her blog a few days ago, here’s my goal. 

  • I want to be a published fiction writer in the next 5 years. I’ve now put it out there. 
  • And I don’t just want to be someone who publishes a book five people outside of my immediate family read – I want it to be bigger than that.

To be a better writer, I have to get down to the “basic me” and try to not edit myself so much. It’s funny, but I have no problem with mentioning certain things on this blog.  Yet, when I’m working on a piece of my book, and Bill walks near the computer, I tend to close up the screen.  It’s my fear that he will read it and won’t like it, but won’t want to tell me that for fear of hurting  my feelings.  Because that’s what family is supposed to do, right? Support you. My mom tells me I am very lucky to have my husband. She’s right. (Yes, Mom, miracles do happen, even your daughter that made your life complete hell when she was a teenager, can agree with you while you’re still alive.)

Am I setting myself up for failure with this goal? Perhaps.  Am I setting myself up for disappointment? Perhaps. Am I happy with the way things are in my life right now?  Not completely. I would definitely like to feel more fulfilled and inspired on a day to day basis, and not feel like I am in so much of a rut.

Is it scary to admit this stuff to myself?  Yes.  Is it also kind of exciting? Yes. I remember the feelings I had 10 years ago when I decided that I REALLY did not want to be a lawyer. There I was, about 100K in debt (that number has since climbed because of my MLS degree, sad, I know), and I was absolutely miserable. Didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do with my life, other than knowing at least one career I did NOT want to do.

I am trying to be more open to “signs” now in my life.  If I keep feeling like I am beating my head against a wall in certain aspects of my life, I am going to take it as a sign, to turn in another direction and try something else. 

And, honestly, I want to feel like what I do on a daily basis matters.

Anyway, thanks for listening.