Yep, absolutely no motivation whatsoever. I don’t think my legs have fully recovered from the marathon. I am still having problems getting my legs to go as fast on the bike as they did before the big race, and tonight I just didn’t even run. Last night, nothing – stayed home and did some work on my computer. Tonight, I was on the stairmaster because I felt like if I had to ride the bike alone tonight for another 45-50 minutes, I might just shoot myself. Figuratively, of course.

Part of me wonders if I have now hit that point of overtraining. I even found the stairmaster difficult to do. What started out as a 45 minute workout on that machine ended up being 30 minutes, and then riding the bike for 15 minutes seemed to drag on forever. In the meantime, I also seemed to be sweating bullets. What do you suggest to get out of an overtraining funk? (Keep in mind I also have a half-marathon in about two weeks, so I can’t just completely stop, no matter how much I might want to.)

Part of me thinks the changes we are experiencing/going to experience, at work, is now manifesting itself in my being unable to concentrate on my workouts in the evening. Don’t misunderstand, I think a lot of the changes to come at my workplace will ultimately be for the better. We have a new director who is pretty dynamic, and seems to really “get” how to work with people. He’s the same age as me, I think, yet our pay grades are so different! However, I don’t think I would want to take on all of his responsibilities – there is something to be said for being an individual contributor, in my book.

A big part of me realizes I am lucky to have a job right now, what with all the layoffs I am hearing about every day when Bill and I first turn on the news in the morning. It’s enough for me to want to not turn on the TV in the morning, and then drive to work in silence so I can’t hear more bad news on the radio. My older brother lost his job a few months ago, and he’s told me how tight the job market is right now. He’s heard about people being offered jobs, then those jobs are delayed, etc. It’s kind of scary, honestly – it takes me back to 2001 when I was laid off, not just once, but twice, in the same year. I also had friends then who were offered jobs, to start on a Monday, only to get a phone call the preceding Friday, telling them that the job was not actually going to exist. One of the companies I worked for hired someone as an independent contractor, only to “reorganize/downsize” two weeks later.

I’ve seen academia downsize before, and now one of the other larger schools in our metropolitan area has put on a hiring freeze that was widely reported in the newspaper. That’s scary.

Sorry to be such a downer.

Guess this all makes a case for trying to stay positive, right? I’m certainly going to try, anyway. Tomorrow is a new day – I’m also going to try to take on more of my husband’s attitude of letting things slide off of my back. Wish me luck.

By the way, if anyone knows of a place that needs a CPA with a lot of auditing experience, just shoot me a note. That’s my shameless plug for my older brother. He’s got a great work ethic, is quite competent, and is also a very decent person.

Completely random, does anyone remember this song?

The Good Kind, by the Wreckers

PLEASE ignore the fact that you’re seeing One Tree Hill in the background – this was the only acoustic version I could find on YouTube. (I like the acoustic one better.)