After last night’s debacle of trail running, I decided to work out inside tonight on what I call the “stairway to nowhere” and the stationary bike. I have found that after a day of that, my legs feel stronger the next time I run. I climbed 118 floors or 2.45 miles within 20 minutes, and then rode the bike for 11.52 km over 32 minutes. I kept the rpms to over 100 for a good portion of the ride. My gym doesn’t offer spinning classes unfortunately – otherwise I think I’d like to try that out as an alternative on those days that you just don’t feel like running.

While I was on the stairway to nowhere, this song called “The Weight of the World” by Chantal Kreviazuk came on my iPod – I realized I hadn’t heard it in a while. For some reason it made me think of my grandmother and the times she used to tell me not to worry so much about everything all at once, to just take one day at a time. She used to tell me that I could have a “quick tongue” sometimes and that she didn’t like me to get upset, that I should just count to ten some times and try not to lose my temper.

I like to think that if my grandmother were alive today, she’d be proud of me and how I’ve worked on my mental attitude, to try to stay as positive as possible as often as I can. Whereas things at work or outside of work might have stressed me out before, I try to let things roll off of my back and focus on other things, such as the fact that I’m lucky to be alive, to be in good health and able to run when I want, and that the little things won’t matter in the next week, month or year. I try to think of the friends I have loved and lost, whether to sickness or just stubborness on both of our parts, and ask myself if my life is better now than before. I am thankful for my family, for the friends I do have, for the supportive husband I have who’s been there at the end of every race I run (full well knowing he has to try to pick me out of a large pack.) I just wish she could be around this coming fall when I run a half-marathon. Yes, I have decided, I am going to run one after all. I am considering running one on behalf of either a heart association or a cancer-ending association, since those are two problems she faced during her lifetime. I like to think that when I’ll need it, she’ll be there to help me out like I believe she did with Jamie last fall.

I had taken this picture of her grave when I was there last fall before Jamie ran the Philly Marathon. At first I was not going to post it, but now I want to. The flowers at the center were the kind she liked – bright and beautiful. For my family members who read this page, I hope this is alright with you. To those readers who didn’t know her, you can see by her date of birth and death, she lived a long life, something I hope all this exercising and running will help me do too.

Grandma\'s grave fall 2007

I’ll put a YouTube video of that song on the Motivating Music page in case you’d like to hear it, or you can click on the link above.

You know how they say positive energy begets positive energy? When I must have looked like I couldn’t catch my breath tonight, I happened to make eye contact with a girl on a stationary bike who gave me a big smile, and a look like “I know what you’re going through right now. Keep it up!” That was just what I needed at the time, so to that girl, I say “thank you!”