I really have, over the past few weeks. And I’ve missed reading everyone else’s. I have been feeling a bit disconnected. But over the past few days, I ran again, in the morning, as was my usual routine, and felt more like myself. May not do so tomorrow morning, not sure yet, as I know tomorrow will be a very long day. After the usual work day, there is a reception for new foreign students that I need to go to. I just don’t plan on staying until the end. I’m trying to draw boundaries between my work and my home life. If you don’t, I find that work can swallow you whole if you let it. For some people, obsessing about work might be alright but for me, it’s not. I am now past that point in my career. It’s not like I am a clock watcher, but hey, I have a life. Or at least I try to sometimes.
I feel like I’ve been in a weird funk lately. I have not been in the mood to go back to work after my vacations. Usually I tend to feel somewhat motivated at that point, but not lately. Work has been weird. Lots of change going on, and don’t get me wrong, I think some change can be good. But if I hear the word “team” used again in an insincere manner, I think I’m going to hurl. Really. I wish people would just say things like they mean it, and get on with life. And I wish I could stop wondering if I’ve chosen the wrong field, or the wrong place, sometimes. Like I said, I’ve been in a funk lately.
However, there are a few bright spots, like the other folks that I am working with, regarding my new specialty, and the fact that one of my friends at work now also has an office space on my floor. I have to remind myself to think of those good things, and not get bogged down in all the other crap.
My run yesterday was not the fastest but it felt good. As I was about halfway on a 4 mile loop, I ran past Silver Lake, near my house. There were a few triathletes swimming in the lake, and it just gave me this needed jolt of energy. I also saw another runner. This is somewhat unusual – usually I only see people out walking their dogs, or walking, but not too many runners in the 6 a.m. hour, for some reason. I think a lot of people who live in my suburb tend to run in the evenings.
Yesterday morning was quite humid – about 95%, I think, but the temperature felt relatively cool, about 70 degrees. We are in the middle of a heat wave here, and today it reached 97. And it was humid, so I stayed inside and rode the exercise bike while reading a copy of Mother Earth News that I had checked out from my library. I didn’t even bother to take my headphones with me to the gym and I didn’t really miss them. Don’t worry, though, Alien, if I’m out there running tomorrow morning, I’ll be sure to wear them.
Wow, even this post feels like I am all over the place. I think I need to get back into more of a groove where running and blogging are concerned, and hopefully be able to successfully get through this freelance research crunch I am operating under. We are hoping to give the book chapters to some critiquers somewhat early in September, so that’s why there’s a rush. I’m a bit nervous those readers won’t feel like it’s been researched enough. I guess a little part of it will always feel like my work is not good enough.
Anyway, sorry to be such a downer this evening. I will leave you with a picture (taken from above) of the munchkin who has been laying behind my chair in my dining room/home office filled with the books of half my library at work (it feels like it anyway.) She just sighed, in boredom, I think. (As in “Mom, I need some attention, it’s been minutes since someone petted me!”) Notice the Red Sox collar. It matches her very fashionable Red Sox leash that my husband insisted on getting for her. He said “just because she’s a girl doesn’t mean she has to wear pink.” But I like pink!